Gaslighting – A Classic

The term "gaslighting" originates from the title of a play and later a famous Hollywood film, "Gaslight," in which a manipulative husband tries to drive his wife insane to take advantage of her inheritance.

Today, the term refers to a form of psychological manipulation aimed at making someone doubt their perception of reality, rendering the victim dependent on the manipulator.

There are many gaslighting techniques, including feigning misunderstanding, accusing the victim of distorting facts, questioning their ability to remember correctly or make reasonable conclusions, making them believe that their thoughts or needs are unimportant, or that they are emotionally unstable. The manipulator may also deny promises made, suggest that the victim is too intrusive or aggressive, and even portray themselves as the real victim.

Gaslighting is one of the most common forms of gender-based violence. We encountered such a situation firsthand—here is Olena’s story.

Olena and her cohabitant evacuated from Kupiansk at the beginning of 2024. Like most evacuees, they settled in a temporary accommodation facility. Olena had been suffering from mental disorders for 20 years and was under observation at a psychiatric dispensary in Kupiansk. During the occupation, her documents were damaged and became invalid by the time of the evacuation, making her dependent on her cohabitant’s “mediation,” as he willingly represented her interests. The man had full control over her, taking advantage of her vulnerable state and exerting constant pressure, preventing her from making decisions independently. Fear and uncertainty became her constant companions.

This significantly worsened Olena’s mental health and complicated her stay in the shelter.

After the administration of the temporary accommodation facility contacted our Center, case managers spoke with Olena, and a decision was made to relocate her to our "Without Limits" Shelter, where she received constant care and assistance in restoring her identity documents and disability certificate.

At the shelter, Olena felt safe for the first time in many years. A professional psychotherapist and social workers began supporting her, helping her recognize her own value and understand that she should not live in fear and dependency. Her condition improved significantly—she started communicating with other shelter residents, becoming less withdrawn and more confident.

We understood that she needed a long-term safe place to live with appropriate care. Thanks to our efforts, we found a specialized boarding house in one of the Baltic countries, where professional medical assistance, support, and decent living conditions awaited her.

Today, Olena is in a safe place where she is treated with care and respect. She is no longer dependent on her abuser. Her life has changed completely.