Empathy vs. Sociopathy

Domestic violence refers to the cruel treatment of an individual or group within household relationships, such as family, marriage, or cohabitation. Violence can be directed at intimate partners, women, men, parents, children, or any other close family members. This type of violence can be physical, psychological, economic, or a combination of all these forms. According to the Council of Europe Convention on preventing violence against women and domestic violence, domestic violence is a criminal offense.

During times of armed conflict, the number and intensity of domestic violence cases increase significantly. Without commenting on the progression of this phenomenon, we want to present a striking case that illustrates a broader trend threatening elderly individuals and people with disabilities who find themselves in conflict situations today.

The name of the victim has, of course, been changed.

In a small village in the Kharkiv region, devastated by war, lived an elderly woman alone. Ulyana Serhiivna used a wheelchair, having lost both legs many years ago. Her life was a continuous struggle filled with hardship. Nevertheless, she held on because she still had hope—her beloved daughter.

At the onset of the war, her daughter fled to Germany, taking along her mother’s disability pension card—just in case Germany wasn’t as generous as people claimed.

Naturally, her own flesh and blood promised to take care of her from afar—to send money—and then disappeared somewhere in the vastness of the EU.

Ulyana Serhiivna was left without any means of survival. The poor woman never complained; she merely justified her daughter’s actions to the neighbors, saying, "The young need it more." Kind people occasionally brought her food, and a social worker sometimes helped, but this did little to change the dire situation she was in. As the shelling intensified, Ulyana Serhiivna only gripped the arms of her wheelchair tighter and prayed.

When the daughter reappeared, having heard that her mother was starving, she finally started sending her a modest 3,000 hryvnias a month from Ulyana Serhiivna’s own pension. Out of this sum, she also rented her mother an apartment in a dangerous district of Kharkiv—on the eighth floor. This woman clearly knew how to be frugal—just not at her own expense.

Hoping that her suffering was finally over, Ulyana Serhiivna moved into the apartment. However, life on a high floor under constant artillery fire turned into a new nightmare: sirens, explosions, fear, and helplessness. Loneliness choked her like a noose. It was obvious that she could not escape this new prison on her own.

How she learned about the hotline of the NGO "CNGD ‘Volunteer-68,’" Ulyana Serhiivna doesn’t remember, but we heard her. That very day, she was evacuated from the danger zone and placed in our shelter, "Without Limits."

Ulyana Serhiivna received our standard care package: warmth, attention, and understanding. We provided her with medical, social, and psychological assistance. We helped her block her old card, restore access to her pension, and finally regain financial independence. Our team found a geriatric care home for her, where she not only received proper care but also a sense of security, dignity, and peace.

This story is just one of thousands of cases of domestic violence experienced by elderly people, especially those with disabilities. Their relatives, justifying their actions with "difficult circumstances," take their money, depriving them of basic means of survival. Unfortunately, these elderly victims do not complain because they do not know their rights and fear losing their connection with their loved ones.